Seranade!

Uh, I'm currently working but I thought I might give a few minutes to write this. Today's the first few days at work after Ied Mubarak so... Sebagai penderita PTSD, banyak yang berubah sejak sebelum dan sesudah menderita PTSD. Menurut National Institute of Mental Health, gangguan stres pasca trauma/ post traumatic stress disorder adalah gangguan yang muncul setelah mengalami peristiwa yang mengejutkan, menakutkan, atau berbahaya. Tapiii, gak semua orang yang mengalami peristiwa tersebut termasuk dalam kategori penderita PTSD. Ada beberapa syarat yang harus dipenuhi agar bisa dikategorikan sebagai penderita PTSD, seseorang harus mengalami 4 hal ini dalam waktu satu bulan: 1. Setidaknya satu gejala re-experiencing (mengalami ulang) 2. Setidaknya satu  gejala avoidance (menghindar) 3. Setidaknya dua gejala arousal and reactivity (menggugah dan reaktivitas) 4. Setidaknya dua gejala cognition and mood (kesadaran dan suasana hati) ???? what are those you might ask? We...

Hi! I'm actually in Bogor right now, on the phone with one of my close friends, and everything feels really peaceful. I need to take a train to Semarang at 6 p.m. and tbh I kinda miss working too I'm still fighting my PTSD tho, and making great progress! Some triggers don't even affect me anymore, my panic attacks are getting more bearable, and I hope I'll be fine when I finally move to CH, fingers crossed! The last panic attack was 2 days ago, but other than not being able to sleep (I eventually slept at 2 a.m.) and increasing heartbeat, everything is still controllable. I will not continue working in July, so I think I need to plan some stuff while I'm still in Indonesia... I was thinking of learning French, and also Muaythai, oh and hopefully learn to cook! That would be exciting! But as for now, I'm still working on papers and stuff, pretty cool tho, I learned a lot of new stuff every day while maintaining my mental health's stability So y...

You're probably still too, but this is just devastating. A year.  Cheers to that, shall we? To another sleepless night, as always.

It's about to be 2019 y'allll I'm grateful for everything that I've been through and just FEELING SO FULFILLED RN :") i managed to beat mental illness, get my degree, help ppl, join communities, meet new ppl, work, etc omg like thank u Lord for 2k18 hopefully 2k19 would be another great year 😇

Libera - Be Still My Soul OH MY GOSH SUCH BEAUTY I've been loving this choir group since idk, junior high perhaps, and up till now, they still give me CHILLS. And the lyrics tho... I cannot :' although there are plenty versions of this song, I like this one the most... but of course all the other versions' lyrics are also LIT Be still, my soul, The Lord is on thy side Bear patiently, the cross of grief or pain  Leave to thy God, to order and provide  In every change, He faithful will remain  Be still, my soul, thy best thy heavenly friend  Through thorny ways, leads to a joyful end Be still my soul when dearest friends depart And all is darkened in the vale of tears Then shalt thou better know His love His heart Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears Be still my soul the waves and winds shall know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below Be still …

Em                      G                             C When I have more questions than answers Am                      D                            G When the dawn seems distant in the darkness Em                      G                             C Jesus let Your spirit speak softly Am                     G    Oh to feel the trust You felt C                        D in that garden where You knelt G                    ...

I've been loved, harder than anyone could ever imagine, by someone who barely loved properly. Blessing or curse, I wouldn't know. Help me help him. I can't.